Lagos Deputy Gov Hamzat: Modern Parenting Style Raising Pampered, Irresponsible Children
An educator and child development advocate has raised concerns over what she describes as the growing trend of pampering children rather than raising them with discipline and responsibility, warning that this parenting approach could have long-term societal consequences. In a widely shared commentary, the educator highlighted alarming patterns observed in schools and homes, where children are increasingly shielded from basic responsibilities such as house chores, meal preparation, and personal discipline. “We now see 8-year-olds who don’t lay their own beds, 10-year-olds who are served food but never clear the table, and teenagers who cannot cook simple meals because domestic staff handle everything,” she said. The educator, who works closely with students across age groups, warned that the failure to instill responsibility in children today will likely result in a generation ill-equipped to face the challenges of adulthood. According to her, some students are now growing up entitled, lazy, and lacking basic life skills. She cited examples such as children addicted to television, parents who bribe teachers or register their children in ‘miracle centres’ for exam success, and an overall culture that discourages discipline but embraces shortcuts. “Some children go to expensive schools but perform poorly because they are not taught discipline or work ethic at home. Instead of reading, they stay up watching TV, sometimes with their parents,” she stated. The educator also criticized parents who place emphasis on luxury and appearance while neglecting intellectual and moral development. “We buy them designer clothes but won’t spend money on books. We outsource all chores to maids, drivers, and nannies. At this rate, what future are we preparing them for?” She stressed that many of the values that helped older generations succeed—hard work, discipline, and resilience—are no longer being taught in many modern households. Quoting a popular Hausa proverb, “Ka so naka, duniya ta ki shi” (If you favour your child too much, the world will reject him), she urged parents to reconsider their approach. The educator warned that there are only two outcomes for children raised without discipline: the pain of regret or the pain of correction, adding that discipline is non-negotiable in a child’s long-term development. She concluded by urging Nigerian parents to instill responsibility, encourage learning, and prepare their children for a competitive and demanding world. “No amount of wealth can protect an undisciplined child from failure,” she added. Experts Urge Reassessment of Parenting Approaches In light of the warning, several child psychologists and educators are calling on Nigerian parents to adopt more balanced parenting approaches that combine love with responsibility, structure, and consequences. “Raising responsible children is not about harshness. It’s about guidance, structure, and accountability,” said Dr. Femi Ogundele, a child behavior specialist based in Lagos. “If we fail at parenting, we fail the nation.
