Hadiza El-Rufai Reveals She Never Planned For Polygamy But Chose To Stay In Marriage

Hadiza El-Rufai, first wife of former Kaduna State governor Nasir El-Rufai, has revealed that entering a polygamous marriage was never part of her plan when she got married.

Sharing her perspective on X on Sunday, she responded to a discussion sparked by a lawyer’s announcement that he was taking a second wife.

“My husband was raised in a polygamous family, while I, by contrast, grew up in a monogamous one,” she wrote. “When we agreed to get married, I envisaged a monogamous marriage, even though the subject was never discussed.”

She explained that the marriage later became polygamous by her husband’s choice, but she ultimately chose to remain in it.

“Now I find myself in a polygamous marriage, not by choice initially, but subsequently by choice,” she said. “Not by choice initially because the transformation from monogamy to polygamy was my husband’s decision, and subsequently by choice because staying in the marriage was mine alone.”

Hadiza also noted that under Islamic law, a woman can leave a marriage without giving a reason, provided she returns her dowry. “Could that have influenced my decision to stay? Perhaps, but by that time, I had already used my dowry,” she added.

Reflecting on her experience as the first wife, she highlighted some advantages, including more time to focus on her career, personal interests, and children, as well as sharing family responsibilities with co-wives. She, however, said she could not see any benefit of polygamy for men and encouraged people to make personal choices that suit them.

Nasir and Hadiza El-Rufai met in 1976 at the School of Basic Studies, Ahmadu Bello University, Zaria, and married in Kaduna in 1985. Hadiza is a writer and novelist, and they have children together.